Trauma Looks Like This

How do we recognize the three different types of trauma when they're manifesting in our lives--or the lives of our loved ones?

Ever since I was a young child, I knew I wanted to be a writer.

I have two plastic tubs filled with journals stashed under my bed that I still loved to flip through in order to reminisce over my Jr. High handwriting or the emotions I experienced upon each of my children's births.

Words have always been one of my favorite ways to find healing, inspiration, and a closeness to the highest, most creative version of myself.

But when I'm going through trauma, often times I find that my words feel as though they've been stolen from me.

The picture below might not seem like much to you--a mostly empty page of my scripture study manual, with a couple of sentences written half-heartedly under the picture.

To me, however, this is symptomatic of the trauma I was actively seeking to work through at the time.

For contrast, here's what my scripture journals usually look like:

Not everyone loves writing, and not everyone loves words the way I do.

However, if you're finding that you (or a loved one) have less capacity to engage in your favorite pastimes, it may be a sign that there is some trauma involved.

Trauma comes in three different categories to be aware of:

Acute trauma is trauma that occurs from a significant, definable, distressing event, for example, a car crash, assault, significant injury or confrontation.

This type of trauma is often a watershed experience that can be pointed at and quickly recognized. This is the type of trauma we usually think of when we think of Trauma, PTSD and their symptoms.

Chronic trauma is trauma that occurs from repeated distressing events over a course of time.

This type of trauma often feels more insidious because rather than pointing at a significant, recognizable event, it's the result of repetition and wear on our souls and psyches.

This type of trauma could be experienced as the result of an abusive relationship, stories that have been running through our mind on repeat, or the ongoing stress of trying to function in an unhealthy environment.

The visual I like to give to help people understand this type of trauma is as if sandpaper is slowly rubbing on the same spot over and over again until the area beneath is raw and bleeding.

Complex trauma is trauma that has been experienced through multiple and varied traumatic events, often of an invasive, interpersonal nature.

This type of trauma usually is manifested in the formative years of a child's mind, but can also manifest after extreme and prolonged trauma in adulthood.

No matter which kind of trauma we experience, it can result in anxiety, depression, addictive behaviors, compulsions, weight gain, physical pain and health problems, sleep issues, relationship complications, and more.

No matter our life's situation, we ALL have experienced trauma in one form or another, and our trauma is going to be as personal to us as our fingerprints.

What could be traumatic to one person could be simply irritating or frustrating to another, and this has nothing to do with strength, character, or spirituality (or lack thereof). Instead, how we experience (and process) our trauma will result from a delicate blend of childhood experiences, genetic makeup, and personality type.

Dismissing trauma (whether ours or someone else's) because it doesn't look or sound traumatic to us simply adds to the stories of shame that often accompany trauma. Trauma, no matter how big or small, will not be resolved until it has been recognized.

Whether trauma is Capital-T Trauma (significant and definable), or lower-case t trauma (perhaps overlooked but emotionally distressing at some level), our trauma will demand to be resolved at some level until it receives that resolution.

We then have two choices--courageously face the trauma, allow it to be fully felt and resolved (I like to refer to this as "closing the loop"), or numb and deny the discomfort we may be feeling.

Because we are human, we all have a pretty diverse array of numbing mechanisms we can turn to when our trauma is being triggered. The problem with numbing mechanisms and other defensive mechanisms is the the relief or comfort they provide never lasts and often needs to be increased to be efficacious.

Facing our trauma means showing a courageous willingness to fully feel it, which can be terrifying.

Because our minds are the result of thousands of years of evolution, they see the discomfort of intentionally feeling and reliving (to any extent) old traumas as a threat to our very survival.

Therefore, our minds will often offer a variety of protective escape mechanisms, whether through distraction, lack of ability to follow a thought through to completion, or engaging in numbing behaviors that we don't even recognize until hours later.

I'm an experienced coach who has been engaging in healing practices for well over a decade now, and I still find myself in need of a compassionate but focused coach to help me overcome my natural defense mechanisms in order to close my loops.

It's not easy. It takes dedicated time and effort, as well as other precious resources of finances and focus--but the relief found from closing a traumatic loop, whether Big-T or little-t, is ALWAYS worth the investment it takes.

Healing from trauma requires patience, as well. Healing is not linear, nor is it a one-time event. As we practice our healing behaviors, we can find more and more tools to add to our tool belt to help us deal with ongoing traumatic events as well as healing from layers of old beliefs, stories, and trauma.

The truth of the matter is, that while we all experience trauma, we can all experience healing, as well. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, is the ultimate Healer and as we utilize the resources He has blessed us with, we can find healing on every level from every trauma we experience in this life.

It may sound simplistic, but I truly am grateful for my own personal Traumas and for the path they have led me on.

It is through my Trauma that I have gained a deepened understanding and appreciation of my Savior, Jesus Christ, and His love for me.

The price paid has been worth the reward received.

It can be that way for you, as well.

Categories: : Emotional Health, Faith, Grief, Trauma