Opposition--and 3 Ways to Make it Work for You

How I learned to love the uphill instead of dreading it.

I love running.

I've loved it since Junior High, when it became apparent that my rapidly-growing, lanky body was only coordinated enough to run in a straight line for a long time rather than being successful at any of the other sports I tried out for.

In my last home, the one drawback to my house's situation was that no matter which direction I ended my run from, I always had to run for a full half a mile uphill in order to get home.

It was discouraging every time I was completing a run to get to the bottom of the particular hill that I quickly learned to despise with every fiber of my being and know that there was half a mile left before I could rest.

I remember (this was probably 5 years ago now) talking about this with my coach, Mary Knapp. She's incredibly wise, and she always asks the best questions.

This conversation was no different.

"Tell me something," she began. "Why do you run in the first place?"

"Well, because I like the way I feel afterwards. I like how strong it makes my body. I like how much energy I have when I'm running regularly, and I like how my body looks when I'm regularly running...it's more fit and lean, and I like the way clothes fit better. I just like who I am when I run."

"Wouldn't it be easier to just not run?" she asked.

"Yeah, definitely."

"So you are willing to choose to do something hard and uncomfortable because you like the results?"

"Exactly!" I nodded, grateful she wasn't one of those "running is crazy" types.

"Would it be easier for you to choose running routes with no hills on them? Could you run on a track or something?" she asked curiously.

"Yeah, but that's boring. Besides, it's not as good of a workout."

"Oh!" she was excited. "So you're choosing routes that are more difficult on purpose because you want a good workout?"

"Yeah, I guess I am," I realized.

"Is there a part of you that actually likes this hill because you know it's helping you become stronger as you run up it? Especially when you're tired, towards the end of your run?" she prodded.

"OH my goodness!" I began to get excited now, too. "I just realized that this hill is helping me become stronger than I would be without it!"

"So let's clearly connect you now to the idea that every time you come to an uphill climb, you say--you can even say it out loud if you want to--'I love that this hill is helping me become stronger!'"

She then went on to help me do the work to choose this thought and clearly latch on to it as something my brain would automatically think, rather than what it had been thinking before every time I got to the bottom of that hill.

I've moved since then, and haven't run up that particular hill for over five years at this point, but the lesson has stayed with me ever since.

It's a truth that "it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things." (2 Nephi 2:11). Lehi taught this to his son, Jacob, who by a young age had experienced more than his fair share of opposition as a refuge in a wilderness, a passenger on a tumultuous ship's journey across an ocean, and a witness to extreme contention in his family.

When opposition comes up, which it does on a daily basis, I often have the tendency to immediately go into victim-mode. "This is HARD. It feels unfair. I wish it was easier."

But I've been pondering on the purpose of why we've come to this earth in the first place--to prove ourselves, (see Abraham 3:25) and to become more like our Savior, developing in His characteristics of patience, wisdom, grace, charity, faith, and humility.

As I learn how to see difficult or unexpected things differently, I'm beginning to learn to find joy in these opportunities. Here is an opportunity, if I want to take it, to become stronger, more patient, more joyful, more like my Savior.

And the view at the top of the hill?

Pretty remarkable.

As I've learned to change my mentality around opposition, I've learned three basic questions to ask myself that help me find more joy and opportunity in the opposition that comes my way.

1. How do I feel about this? It's important to acknowledge what's there. Trying to sweep any existing resentment, disappointment, or shame under a rug of "positive thinking" doesn't last long and can result in those feelings actually growing. Acknowledging those thoughts and feelings with compassion can help resolve them more quickly.

2. How do I want to feel about this? This is where my brain gets excited about the choice I have here. I don't get to decide what happens to me, or even what I initially feel about it, but I do get to decide how I want to end up feeling and thinking about it.

3. Where is the opportunity here? This part is where I give my brain some direction on where to look. Our brains LOVE puzzles--there's a massive market for brainteasers, apps, and games that our brains love to figure out and accomplish. When I can turn opposing experiences into a puzzle for my brain to figure out, it gets my brain working in the background to find the opportunity for my growth and development even when things don't go as I wanted or planned initially.

Our Father in Heaven created a perfect plan for the growth and the development of His children. When I strive to "think celestial," pull back my perspective, and strive to see the opportunity in all opposition, no matter how messy, painful, unexpected, or unfair it feels at first, I find empowerment, hope, and increased strength in the process.