Cover-Up

In what areas am I taking the easy route to avoid the deep work?

I'm going to describe a commercial I saw recently to you--maybe you saw it too:

It starts with a shot of a mom and her son who looks to be about 13 years old or so. They're standing in the doorway, looking at his room, cringing and holding their noses. He's panicking because his friends are coming over and he's embarrassed by how bad his room smells.

His mom then puts a comforting hand on his shoulder and pulls out a bottle of a popular fabric refreshing spray. She says something like, "We can get it clean in time with this!"

The commercial then shows a few slow-motion shots of them spraying the comforter, drapes, and carpet, followed by the boy confidently and happily chatting with other teenagers in his room, which now suddenly looks like something out of a magazine.

His mom gazes happily and peacefully at him while leaning against the doorframe, still holding the bottle of spray they'd used to "clean" his room.

Let me tell you why this commercial always made me cringe.

I know what it is to have rooms smell bad--I've raised four boys, two of whom are now teenagers, and I often just have to wince and close the door when I walk past a bedroom because the smell is so strong.

I also have used fabric refresher sprays or their equivalent in a pinch to deal with difficult smells.

HOWEVER--spraying a synthetic perfume on top of a comforter or mattress is not going to get it clean, and that's why this commercial always made me cringe.

I have cleaned a LOT of carpets, mattresses, and curtains over the years. I have also done "cover up" work to deal with a smell that I just didn't have the time or energy to deal with in the moment.

Let me tell you, "cover up" work doesn't last, nor does it actually take care of the part of dirty smells that actually could be harmful to you.

As I said, I've raised a lot of boys, which means I've had to deal with urine stains in carpet more than once.

Sometimes I just didn't have it in me to do an actual deep clean, so I'd just spray something nice-smelling over the top of it until I had the time and mental capacity to do the work to properly clean it. I would sometimes put cleaning off for an embarrassingly long time and cringe every time I walked past the boys' room and smelled the urine that somehow still always wafted from the room.

And then, eventually, I would inevitably do the work to clean it deeply. I'd get out the carpet cleaner, utilize the proper materials to remove the urine, and go over the spot on the carpet (and surrounding area), and it would usually be clean--truly clean--within half an hour or so.

I almost always ended up shaking my head at how it was never actually that long or difficult to take care of, despite me putting it off as if it was.

SO often I see myself trying to do this on an emotional, spiritual, mental, or physical level.

I want quick results, so when I'm seeing weight gain, depressive behaviors, or a disconnection from God, I want to look for a quick fix.

I'll try that new detox recipe, get a hit of dopamine from eating a favorite numbing food or scrolling social media, or listen to a podcast that might make me feel better right away--and then turn around and yell at my kids for overwhelming me at dinner that night.

Those behaviors help me feel better, for a bit. They may even have some quick result that seem like I'm going in the direction I want to.

But if I'm not willing to do the actual work--noticing the sensations of what I'm feeling in my body, finding the root of those sensations and the stories that accompany them, and then releasing them--then soon I find myself right back to obsessing about the weight gain or sleeping for hours more than my body really needs.

It's like spraying a perfume over a stain that actually really needs cleaning out.

Until I take the time and attention it takes to dig deep, really notice what is going on and then release it to my Savior, I'm going to find myself bumping up against numbing behaviors over and over again.

The funny thing is, this--repentance--doesn't have to be a long process. A few breaths, a prayer, some movement, even just smelling an essential oil or two--it doesn't usually take much to feel an emotion fully, just awareness and intention.

Repentance is the key to progress, as our dear President Nelson teaches. In his words, spoken in April 2022 General Conference, "Please do not fear or delay repenting. Satan delights in your misery. Cut it short. Cast his influence out of your life! Start today to experience the joy of putting off the natural man (see Mosiah 3:19)."

Sometimes, I have a tendency to delay repentance in favor of temporarily easier cover-ups--minimization, justification, even blame and shame. These are all "natural" responses, and yet when we remember that we are invited to put off the natural man, it can give us the motivation we need to really do the work to become truly clean.

Not just "nice-smelling" on the surface.

Categories: : Emotional Health